Bravado Living

The Un-Woo

Little Mrs. Right, so cute and polite, sees you when coming her way. As you sit down beside her, her GPS guides her away from your courtship display.

Few things are worse than a date night gone awry. Courtship – a centuries-old tradition – can be an intimidating, yet rewarding experience. Its triumphs are marked by the thrill of the pursuit, while its failures are memorialized by the agony of rejection. So what’s a gent to do when Cupid’s aim is slight askew?

If your romantic approach could use a boost of octane, consider the following date night recommendations.

1. Many suitors employ the dinner date classic when attempting to woo the perfect mate. If you are prone to counting sheep under the romantic flicker of candlelight, expand your dating arsenal to include more than a simple meal. When deciding on date night activities, Find out what interests Her and make your plans accordingly. Is she athletic, adventurous, a movie buff, or a die-hard romantic? Whatever the case, do your best to solicit her input. Your date night activity should facilitate good conversation, and be successful at keeping boredom at bay.

2. Oftentimes, first impressions “seal the deal.” Even the smallest of details become glaring when illuminated under the romantic spotlight. Your first impression may be the only impression if you appear to be lax with hygiene. An intoxicating waft of body odor may numb or offend your date’s sensibilities; and the triple play of  dirty fingernails, dirty teeth, and dirty shoes, will never add up to foreplay.  This is why your mother ranted that, “Proper Grooming is Essential.” Taking pride in your appearance will always have an impact on your dating successes; therefore, be kind – be courteous – be clean!

3. Schedule date night activities well in advance to ensure that you will Be Punctual. Arriving late without a reasonable explanation, or cancelling plans on a whim or moment’s notice, is nothing less than R-U-D-E. Should something unexpected arise, give your date the courtesy and respect of timely communication. Emergencies can hardly be avoided, but dater’s remorse isn’t one of them.

4. Create a sense of enchantment with some good Old-fashioned Courtship. Bring a smile to her face with a thoughtful gift, or a sincere and observant compliment. Make no demands; harbor no expectations; just treat her like a Lady.

5. As an extension of old-fashioned courtship, Chivalry is here to Stay. The fact that your date is a contemporary woman, with an education, career, and political views of her own, will have no bearing on her ability to appreciate a prince. Every gal likes to be doted upon now and again; so open the door (car doors, restaurant doors, Jim Morrison Doors, or any door at all), and remember to pull out her chair.  

"Rambling Rambo"

6. Women are peculiar creatures. If this was the theme for your college dissertation, you truly are not alone. Without a doubt, the female population has a monopoly on the gift of gab. Although your date will help guide the topic of conversation, do realize that your participation is helpful. If verbal expression is not your forte, don’t allow nervousness to get the best of you. Keep the conversation moving at a reasonable pace, and if trying your hand at humor, keep it light and free of vulgarity. Actively Listen to what she has to say by asking relevant and intelligent questions. On the other hand, be aware that mindless chatter is like empty calories – both should be avoided. Suppress the urge to be a “Rambling Rambo,” and at no time is it acceptable to recant stories about your ex!

7. Something about you has sparked her curiosity, compelling her to investigate further. Feel free to Be Yourself (within reason), but do leave your Bad Boy or Don Juan persona at home. Who you are, what makes you unique, and what you have to offer, are all things your date will seek to discover. While you needn’t reveal your innermost secrets, do present a relaxed and approachable demeanor. 

8. The modern woman is independent. This is not a proclamation, but an ever-present truth. While equality is the order of the day, a sophisticated gentleman always has the means to pay for his date. Do be prepared to, as well as, offer to pay for the evening. If she insists on splitting the bill fifty-fifty, there is no harm in accommodating her request. However, you mustn’t assume that this will always be the case; otherwise going Dutch may equal a Doozy. 

9. As the evening progresses and you wish to express your romantic interest, remember to be Affectionate when Appropriate. Unsolicited groping is reminiscent of the adolescent, and most certainly will not be appreciated. Engaging in such behavior is a poor reflection of one’s character, not to mention the potential liabilities. Avoid any uncertainty by being observant throughout the evening. Body language (The Language of Love) is universal, and romantic chemistry is undeniable. A true gentleman knows whether to end the evening with a lukewarm handshake, a friendly embrace, or a gentle and passionate kiss.

10. Whether your date is arranged, prearranged, deranged, or a blind one, do your best to Dump with Dignity when round two is an unconscionable suggestion. If this is your predicament, avoid the following statements when closing out the evening: 1) I’ll give you a call. 2) We’ll chat soon. 3) I’ll text you some time. For the hopeful, each statement implies that there will be an impending communication between the two of you.  To the contrary, if you wish to see her again, do make your intentions known.  

Navigating the sea of love can be a turbulent, but worthy adventure. Mrs. Right is on the horizon, and if she’s truly right she’ll stay. Leave her feeling charmed, romantically disarmed, and looking forward to future dates with you – the Captain of the Courtship. 

 -K. Walsh

Popularity: 1% [?]

Boys will be boys...

Boys will be boys, but being knotty just might be fashionable some day; the day you receive an invitation to a black-tie, or other formal affair. What you wear is just as important as how you wear it, whether attending a wedding, funeral, or crashing a Presidential State Dinner. Looking dapper and debonair, with a touch of culture and refinement, is the goal of every modern-day gent when faced with such an occasion. With this in mind, what’s all the fuss over 50+ inches of silk, and what’s with all those knots, anyway?  

The necktie, along with its forerunner the cravat, has been a predominately male fashion expression for centuries. Its origins can be traced to both military and royal attire of the early 17th century. Although an important piece of fashion history, there is no mandate that your formal ensemble conjure up memories of your father’s matching tie, handkerchief, and sock combinations. 

• The conservative look outranks all others within the professional arena. Keep things simple, while in a Corporate Environment or during a Job Interview, by wearing a dark suit, white dress shirt, and the classic, solid, navy-blue, or burgundy tie. Although a slight variation of tie color is acceptable, and simple prints are tolerated, avoid the temptation for bright colors or busy novelty prints at all costs; especially during the holiday season. 

•  When making a tie decision for Weddings, or other jubilant Celebrations, proceed with caution. Oftentimes, there are unspoken rules of etiquette for guests at a wedding, or other formal engagement. If you are not in the wedding party, pay special attention to your invitation, and any attire requests from your host. If the celebration is a black-tie affair, keep it simple and go with tradition. In the absence of such a request, bear in mind that weddings generally have a color theme. Grooms frequently choose the tie colors of white, silver, gray, sage green, pink, lavender, yellow, and orange. If you are not privy to this information, stick with basic tie colors and dark suits rather than making an unsolicited fashion statement. Although an Ascot tie, or other formal neckwear is in order, be careful not to upstage the groom.   

• Without question, Funerals are a definite black-tie affair. Stick with a black, dark blue or gray suit with a tie of similar color.  Enough said.  

• For Dating or Romantic occasions, feel free to liven up your fashion ensemble with a dose of imagination. Create a look that is warm, inviting, and friendly, as there is no need for conservatism here. Break the monotony of tradition with a splash of vibrant color, a unique print or pattern, a distinctive tie or Ascot pin, wearing a decorative vest in lieu of a jacket, or a variation of the necktie altogether.

Whatever you decide, make certain that your apparel is clean, pressed, and properly fitted. To the latter, every gent will know his measurements (neck, chest, sleeve, waist, and inseam), and is re-sized from time-to-time, to account for changes in his physique.  

Lastly, if you’re the uncomplicated type, don’t fret over the Windsor knot, Half-Windsor knot, Pratt/Shelby knot, Four-in-Hand knot, Small knot, Prince Albert knot, Cross knot, Ascot (Ruche, Cocolupa, or Naud Gordien) knot, Jabot, Bow Tie, and which knot, not to wear. Ties of the clip-on and pre-tied variety are fashion, that is fortunately made simple. 

Now that you’re all tied up, could there be an additional benefit of wearing a necktie? It should come as no surprise that, for women, there’s something inexplicably titillating about a well-groomed gent in a tie; the three Cs to be exact.  If you could read her mind, she’d share that you appear to be in Control, exhibit a Command presence, and convey a sense of Confidence, all by wearing a tie!  Not to mention the extra points earned for your quotient of appeal.   So what are you waiting for? Enjoy any formal event while looking your best.  

Don’t be afraid to tie the knot. Wear it – a necktie – the modern gent’s fashion accessory. 

-K. Walsh  

Popularity: 8% [?]

Know your nose

Were the rules of attraction made to be broken? If not broken, perhaps, enhanced? Who’s to say, but one thing is for certain: finding the right mix of sensuality, and pheromone, is the kind of thing genies have socked away in bottles for centuries. What makes women find a particular man desirable? Every man has a special ‘something’ that makes him unique, be it charm, bicep dimension, the proverbial shoe size, or the PIN number to his debit card. The list is exhaustive, so, how will you set yourself apart? 

You won’t find the answer in your father’s Old Spice, or even in the old school of conventional masculine wisdom. Although your heart’s settled on a favorite aromatic love tonic, does it truly define you? Does it drive the woman in your life passionately crazy, or does it drive her away? 

Give yourself a competitive edge, in the game of love, with the perfect scent for a sophisticated gent such as yourself.  Determine whether you prefer a strong and robust scent or a subtle, yet, clean and cool one. Whichever appeals to your senses, understand why this is so, by getting to know your nose.  From Giorgio Armani to Givenchy, and Ralph Lauren to Bvlgari, with so many scents from which to choose, how will you best decide? 

It’s in the notes. To be precise, the composition of any fine fragrance (male or female) is such that it will feature three distinct elements, or notes (top/head, middle/heart, and base), each unfolding over time; creating a symphony for the senses. Top notes offer an introductory scent that tends to be lighter, yet is highly volatile. Chances are you purchased your favorite scent based on this particular note. Top notes evaporate quickly, so allow a fragrance time to linger.  You will soon discover that the best of it has only begun. 

Enter the middle note. Often referred to as the heart of the fragrance, middle notes are strong and enduring. Remember that you are unique, and no two men will wear the same fragrance alike. When testing a fragrance, wear it no less than 15 minutes. In time, it will emit a signature aroma, as the elements fuse with your body’s natural chemistry. 

Last, but not least, are the base notes. These are the strongest ingredients of a fragrance, and serve as a fixative melding all other notes together. The base note provides for extended wear, of a fragrance, and prolongs its aromatic properties. 

All scents, from the impostor to the designer, belong to one of four distinct categories including Fresh, Floral, Oriental, and Woody (with a central trans-category of Aromatic Fougère). That’s right!  Contrary to popular belief, all fragrances are, in fact, cut from the same cloth.

By concentration, cologne contains 2 – 5% essential oils, and fragrance compounds, in contrast to perfumes, which contain upwards of 20%.  As nature’s perfect stimulants, essential oils induce certain euphoric and relaxing sentiments. Common notes used in male fragrances include Bergamot, Cedar, Ginger, Lavender, Neroli, Patchouli, Sandalwood, and Vetiver. It’s no accident that these are woody, aromatic, tranquil, and soothing. 

So what did Giovanni Paolo Feminis know that the rest of us would pay an arm and leg?  He knew that men deserve special recognition in their quest to enhance the rules of attraction.  In answering this masculine battle cry, Giovanni developed the perfect Scent for a Gent – his 1709 romantic elixir – cologne. Thus, the contemporary concept of male fashion cologne was born. The rest of this story can be found on Saks’ Fifth Avenue, your bedroom armoire, and in every department store worldwide.                                                                                                          

SCENT hints for a GENT:

1. Determine which notes are in your favorite cologne, or other fragrance.
2. Score some free samples online, or the next time you purchase at a department store.
3. Test no more than three scents at a time; any more will cloud your sense of smell.
4. The smell of coffee beans will clear the sinuses; the sales representative will have some.
5. Apply cologne to clean skin, most commonly after a shower.
6. Cologne should be worn on the body; hotspots include wrists, neck, and behind ears.
7. Rubbing wrists together will crush, or breakdown, a scent more rapidly. 
8. Spray cologne into the air, and walk into the mist for even distribution.
9. Store cologne in a cool, dry, place away from direct sunlight.
10. Properly stored cologne will last approximately three years. 

Now that you’ve got the basics, a little trial, and error, is in order. You hereby have permission to slather, spritz, and douse… within reason.

-K. Walsh

Popularity: 10% [?]

There comes a time in every man’s life when he makes a most important decision – whether to grow a Goatee or Go Bare.  So how will you make this decision?  What kind of things should you consider?  Before you go from bare to hair, consider the following tips.  

Examine your motivation. Have you been satisfied with your look until recently? If so, why have you decided to grow a goatee now? Does the new woman in your life drop hints, or, on occasion, make mention of how her ex had one? Did you recently lose a considerable amount of weight?  Are you going through what the rest of the world refers to as a midlife crisis, and want to feel young and virile again?  There are plenty of reasons, or non-reasons, to grow a goatee.  Be honest with yourself and examine your motivation.  Be certain that you are changing your look for you.  When you look into the mirror, you should like what you see – chin and all.  

Consider the time. Have you recently begun to grow your goatee?  In the beginning, your goatee may look somewhat awkward, or downright silly. Consider the time it will take to complete the look you want to achieve. Check your calendar. If your immediate plans, or obligations, include family or wedding photos, or an important speaking engagement, you may want to delay plans for your new chin friend, until a more suitable time. Look – into the mirror – before you leap, and allow your new goatee to grow in peace, not in pieces.

Consider the upkeep.  How much time will you spend grooming each day?  In order for your goatee to look its best, proper grooming is essential.  If you have minimal time for grooming, wearing a goatee style that requires a high level of maintenance may not be ideal. If your schedule is busy, but your heart is set on wearing a goatee, try opting for a simple style versus something more complex. 

Consider your occupation.  Even in the twenty-first century – the bottom line is – a goatee might not be acceptable to wear in certain occupations. Some employers ask that employees refrain from wearing certain styles of facial hair, or displaying certain types of  piercings, while in their employ, and/or on their premises. If your career path trumps your choice of beard expression, abandon this mission. For most, this will not be a problem, but do use your discretion.

 Understand the shape of your face.  Your goatee should enhance, or compliment your existing facial features. A large face with a narrowly trimmed goatee will appear out of proportion.  On the other hand, a small face with a long or extremely thick goatee will appear overpowered.  Keep in mind that a goatee is not a full beard, and, by definition, only refers to the tuft of hair grown from the chin.  This does grant you some leeway; however, understanding the shape of your face will help you make the best decision.  Round, square, and oval-shaped faces are all complimented by a goatee.  For those with a long face, an actual beard that is fuller on the sides, and short underneath the chin, will serve to create the illusion of being more balanced. 

Consider the style. Throughout history, men have donned various styles of facial hair, including the goatee.  Popularized in the 17th century, by the Flemish painter, Sir Anthony Van Dyck, there are many styles from which to choose.  Wear it alone, with a mustache, or accented by a soul patch (a tuft of hair grown directly below the bottom lip).  Experiment with any number of variations, always keeping your goatee trimmed, neat, and clean.

Don’t ditch the itch.  If you have recently begun to grow your goatee, you may find yourself irritated from the itching.  Be patient, and don’t be so quick to ditch the itch.  Although stubble can be quite annoying, the itching should be non-existent when your goatee has grown to the desired length.  To soothe an itchy chin, try using a dab of talcum powder.

Abandon the peach fuzz.  Be honest with yourself and face the facts: a few lone wiry hairs doth not a goatee make.  Growing a goatee may not be right for you, if it takes more than several weeks to achieve reasonable thickness, or denseness, in the chin hair.  Understand that genetics, and your overall health, determine the quantity, quality, and length of hair on any part of the body.  If the growth pattern of your goatee remains sparse, scraggly, or if you find your chin resembling fruit, it might be time to abandon the peach fuzz. 

Is it fair?  Hair color should not be the determining factor.  Contrary to popular belief, fair-haired goatees can be just as attractive as darker ones.  If you are fair-haired, allow your goatee, or beard, to grow-in before making your final decision.  Oftentimes, beard hair will be several shades darker, but even if this is not the case, a fair-haired goatee might be the right look for you. Lastly, if you are a mature gent, don’t be discouraged by gray hair.  Besides, who says a silver fox has to live on top of your head?  Many women find facial hair extremely attractive, and the more salt-n-pepper – the better.

Consider your partner.  Your partner may not be turned on by a vision of you with chin decorations, of the keratin kind.  Talk to your partner and find out what she thinks.  You may be surprised by her image of a sexier you.  Also, remember that during the awkward stubble phase, delivering a kiss with a tickle, or scratch, may not be on her list of approved romantic gestures. 

Whether you decide to Goatee or Go Bare, be adventurous and enjoy finding the right look for you.

-K. Walsh 

Popularity: 12% [?]

I usually try to have half a dozen or so different colognes on hand at any given time. Out of that half dozen, one or two are usually a new cologne I’m trying out in order how to gauge how much I like wearing it and at what times I like to wear it. It’s the intern out of my cologne rack. The rest of the rack is dedicated to five colognes that I try to keep on hand throughout the year. These are the olfactory champions who have never steered me wrong.

Aqua di gio by Giorgio Armani

Aqua di Gio is by far my favorite summertime cologne. It is very light and airy, almost ethereal. It is a wonderful balance of citrus, herbs, and wood scents. Everytime I smell it, I think of the beach, which is the place I wear it the most.

Dolce & Gabbana for Men

Dolce & Gabbana for Men is exquisite. The scent is fresh and sharp and very smoky. This is the type of cologne I like to wear at night, especially out at a restaurant or a good bar. It is very refined and nicely balances citrus notes with spicier scents.

Beyond Paradise for men by Estee Lauder

Beyond Paradise is another great cologne. It is woody and green, but still very mysterious. It’s mystique is probably due in part to the esoteric mixture of exotic fruits and woods. I find that it’s very versatile, appropriate for daylight and moonbeams. It is very masculine and sensual, so I love wearing it around the females.

L'eau d'Issey by Issey Miyaki

Another great warm weather scent, L’aeu d’Issey is very delicate and exhilaratingly light. The main component of the scent is the Yuzu fruit, making this cologne very japanese in more than just it’s manufacturers name. I also love the use of blue water lily, nutmeg, cinnamon bark, and saffron. The cologne comes off as very hip and modern, perfect for social outings.

Black Code by Giorgio Armani

This Armani’s first attempt at a masculine fragrance done in the Oriental-style and they really were on to something here. It is understated and very elegant, making this my obvious first choice for formal outings. It has a very confident feel and all the notes, especially the bergamot, lemon, and tonka bean, come together very nicely.If you haven’t heard of this cologne, it might be because Armani changed it’s name from Black Code to Armani Code. I still call it Black Code out of habit and I don’t plan on stopping, not even if Armani himself were to beat me with a sack of cologne bottles.

Popularity: 8% [?]