Bravado Living

Emyr Thomas, founder of Bon Vivant, a concierge and lifestyle management company in London, shares his thoughts on navigating the minefield of tipping in some of the world’s hottest countries.

Tipping can be socially awkward, cause endless embarrassment and be highly inconsistent and irrational, especially since it is based on the amount of a transaction instead of the quality of service.

It is imperative to remember that tipping is a gesture of appreciation for services rendered – if the service is impressive, then it deserves to be acknowledged and rewarded. More important, perhaps, is to remember to tip generously if you are a regular, as this will go a long way to ensure consistently good service and additional perks.

Deciding whether or not to tip is the easy part; the real problem lies in deciding how much to tip. Tipping is inherently linked to social custom and, as such, can vary between different cultures and countries. An inadequate tip could be considered an infringement on etiquette or an insult to a lifetime’s work.

In a country where a tip is considered a supplement to an income and not a constituent part of a wage, do not be afraid to not leave a tip if the service was not up to scratch – an important lesson for obliging Brits, perhaps.

UK

In restaurants, particularly the high-end establishments, 12.5% is usually already included on the bill, with anything between 10% and 15% being customary. In bars, it is normally at your discretion, although no tip is expected in a pub, but cocktail bars will normally add 12.5% for table service.

For hairstylists, anything between 5% and 10%, given in cash, is acceptable. In London taxis, political and economical musings come at a price, with rounding up to the nearest whole pound or up to 10% of the fare being standard. For hotel staff, a couple of pound is acceptable for maid service and for assistance with luggage.

USA

In the United States, many service sector employers pay their workers on the assumption that tips will contribute to an acceptable wage, therefore the custom of tipping is of paramount importance. Tipping is a big issue in the US in general, especially during the holiday season, with almost everyone receiving a monetary tip, including personal trainers, dry cleaners and teachers!

In restaurants, between 15% and 20% is expected, which is higher than most places, but this is more likely to go directly to the staff. Continuing with this trend, around 15% is considered standard in bars and pubs, with at least $1 per transaction. If using a taxi in New York, be prepared to add between 10% and 15% to the final bill, but don’t be afraid to dispute ill-judged journeys, as you shouldn’t have to pay for a driver’s error.

If you have a haircut, you might have to forgo the blow dry, as you’ll need an extra 15% or 20% to pay for the tip. For hotel staff, a couple of dollars is acceptable for maid service and bellboys.

France

Parisians will tell you that there is no standard for tipping in Paris, and that the French will only tip if they deem a service to be worthy. Service is normally ‘compris’, or already included, in restaurants, but excellent service can be rewarded with a further 5% left in cash.

Tips are not normally given to taxi drivers, but generally used to make giving change easier. With hairstylists, a 5 Euro tip is standard, whether the haircut costs 20 or 80 Euros.

For hotel staff, it is completely at your discretion, with a few Euros being more than sufficient. When it comes to bars, it is not customary to tip in Paris, unless, as one friend put it, you are feeling particularly guilty.

Spain

Tipping is not generally mandatory in Spain, but tends to vary with the type of venue – an upscale establishment, for example, will be more likely to expect a tip. In restaurants, service is sometimes included in the prices, but this may not make its way to the waiters, so it is acceptable to leave a further 5% to 10% in cash. When looking at a menu, be careful to note whether tax at 7% is included in the prices, or this will also be added to your bill, by law. In a casual tapas bar, tipping is not normally expected, but leave a few Euros if the service was worth it.

Tipping taxi drivers is by no means obligatory, although between 5% and 10% is considered good etiquette. The same can be applied for hair stylists, especially if you visit the same one regularly. In hotels, a few Euros for staff is more than acceptable.

Hong Kong

Tipping is not generally a large part of Hong Kong’s culture, except in hotels, where tipping is considered mandatory. HK$10 to HK$20 should be given to bellboys and maids, and remember to tip your concierge if you make use of the service.

In restaurants and bars, 10% is usually automatically added to the bill, but you should still leave a further 5% to 10% in cash for the waiters. Hairstylists will usually expect between 5% and 10%, and although taxi drivers don’t expect a tip, it is widely accepted that you should round up to the nearest dollar, or leave an additional dollar, at least.

Italy

Unlike many European countries, tipping is not generally expected in Italy, but it is, of course, always appreciated. In restaurants, a cover charge is normally already included and they tend to charge extra for bread, both of which are considered to replace the usual ‘tip’ or service charge. However, if you think that the service was worthy of reward, a tip of between 5% and 10% is gratefully received.

It’s not obligatory to tip a taxi driver, but rounding up to the nearest Euro is considered good etiquette. For hotel staff, a couple of Euros is acceptable for maid service and for assistance with luggage.

Turkey

Tipping is not generally a large part of Turkey’s culture, with modest tips being perfectly acceptable.

In restaurants and bars, you should leave 5% to 10% in cash for the waiters, and although taxi drivers don’t expect a tip, it is widely accepted that you should round up to the nearest Lira. For services that are used on a regular basis, such as hair stylists, a tip of 10% is advisable as this usually helps to ensure consistently good service.

Portugal

In Portugal, tipping is usually considered as a supplement to an income at a restaurant, therefore a tip of 10% would be greatly appreciated, although a fine dining restaurant may include up to 15% on the bill.

Taxi drivers normally expect a 10% tip on top of the fare, in hotels a few Euros should be given to bellboys and maids, and remember to tip your concierge if you make use of the service.

For further information on Bon Vivant, visit their website at http://www.bonvivant.co.uk or their blog at http://bonvivantliving.wordpress.com/.

Popularity: 26% [?]

Just because you’re wearing jeans and blazer does not mean you look good. If it looks like you borrowed your dad’s jacket, and are still wearing the same jeans you wore in high school then it’s time you change the way you shop. If you haven’t already followed our advice make sure everything you wear is slimmer and form-flattering.

If nothing is form flattering for you– then you’re probably fat-lose weight.

When you wear a button-down and blazer you need to get a shirt that fits well. Only a sliver of shirt cuff should show near your wrists. This means the shirt must fit you slim as well. No more bunching at the waist. That gives you the appearance of love handles even if you have a 6-pack.

Also square-toe shoes are never in fashion. They are the PT Cruisers of the fashion world. Never cool, but their owners are oblivious.

Next, the blazer. Make sure blazers hug your shoulders, and get a tailor to take it in at the waist and arms.

Jeans that are meant to go out should be dark. Hell, all your jeans should be dark. Opt for a dark navy with no crazy designs. We like Rock and Republic for their simple elegance and the lack of a douche bag stigma associated with True Religion. Make sure they fit you like your khakis do. Snug but not 80′s metal tight. If I can count the coins in your pocket- use them to call a tailor.

Spring for a nice pair- even if they’re $200 bucks. If you wear them 50 times over the next four years, they’ll be cheaper than that $60 dollar shirt sitting in your closet for that past five. Remember fashion rule number seven.

You follow this simple advice, you’ll walk on water next time you go out.

Save the jumping for Kobe though.

Blazer, $2,025, and jeans, $450, by Dolce & Gabbana. Shirt, $168, by Steven Alan. Shoes, $820, by Church’s.

Popularity: 57% [?]

Get any Sommelier liquored up enough, and they might admit to you a time honored secret- wine pairing is a myth. A myth that has made a lot of people very rich. So of course, no-one would ever admit that. Well we just did- oops. But in case you are still interested in acting like a wine connoisseur by all means.

Corksavvy.com came out with a cheat sheet for wine pairings, which is great since you can print it out wallet-sized or just put it down in your phone or organizer. Now, anyone can fake wine expertise. Personally, we’ll just stick to making bold, confident generalizations, and have everyone at the table agree with our suggestions.

Popularity: 34% [?]

Gilt Groupe is no stranger to discounting luxury brands. They sell Gucci, Burberry, Polo, Louis Vuitton, and every other luxury brand at drastically reduced prices. The only problem is that Membership is very limited, and you must be invited by a current member. You’re lucky we love you guys because The Haute Spot has secured an exclusive arrangement for all our readers to sign up,

Sign up here

Registration is free, they don’t spam your inbox with emails, and the deals inside feel like you’re robbing someone. The site even feels like a black market- dark, spooky, and filled with rock bottom prices, exclusive membership just adds to the allure. Check it out- you won’t regret it.

They even have stuff for the home, women, and children.

Sign up here

Popularity: 57% [?]

You will attend many parties in your life. Some will be good. Most will be bad. One way to ensure a great time is by actually throwing a party yourself.

Here at THS we will explain the difference between parties that flourish, and those that flop. More importantly we will show you the way to stay in the former camp and develop a reputation for throwing the best parties known to man.

1.) Location

The number one rule in real estate applies to parties as well. Parking must be plentiful. Make sure that it’s not too far from your guests or they may be discouraged by the long drive. And if they do come, they may not drink for fear of driving under the influence.

Visit your neighbors.

Inform them that you are having a party for a special occasion. Give them your cell phone number and tell them to call you personally incase the party gets too loud – you can even extend a friendly invitation. This insures no one calls the cops and gets your party shut down.

Make sure you have plenty of room for a dance floor. Don’t leave anything valuable in a public place that can be broken or stolen.

2.) Reason and Theme

Now we’re not suggesting that you need a reason to throw a party, but it helps with the planning if you have one. A reason helps you to determine a theme (which we find to be crucial for any legendary party). The theme doesn’t need to be as exaggerated as a 70′s party, but even simple colors can help bring cohesion to an otherwise unorganized mess.Themes will turn a random house party something your guests talk about tomorrow, to a party they text about tonight.

Sometimes finding a theme will be easy like Halloween or New Years (the most overrated night of partying of all time), or it may be a little more obscure- a surprise party for a friend.

If you don’t have a reason for throwing the party then feel free to pick from any one of the themes below:

1.) Any combination of colors (black, white, red, black and white, back and gold, black and silver, white and red, etc.)

These parties are great and usually very classy. Let guests know the dress code early and make it mandatory- even going as far as stating you will not be admitted if you are not dressed in theme. There’s nothing like having that one asshole who decided to wear a purple graphic shirt to your white party.

2.) Decade party (20′s,60′s, 70′s, 80′s, 90′s)

Hint: 80′s parties are irresistible to girls

3.) Heaven, Hell, Heaven and Hell

4.)Pirate theme

5.) ABC party- Anything But Clothes (garbage bags, duct tape, cardboard boxes etc.)

6.) School girl and Sexy Teachers Party

7.) G.I. Joe and Barbie Theme

8.) Superhero party

9.) Cowboys and Indians party

10.) Sports theme

11.) Wine or Champagne Tasting Party

-Everyone brings a bottle of wine. You cover each bottle by bag or paper and number them randomly. Everyone gets a sample of each bottle and rates them. Tally the scores and reveal the winners. The person who brought the best tasting wine wins a bottle to take home.

12.) Hawaiian Luau

13.) Mafia Party

14.) Lingerie/Playboy party

Now some of these themes may be a little too elementary for you, and some may be too high-brow, but it will give you a good launching point to help develop a successful party theme. Get the pulse of your female friends- they usually have a good sense of what the girls you know will get excited about going to.

In fact get one of your hot female friends to help throw the party- both guys and girls tend to assume a party will be more fun when it’s thrown by a hot girl.

3.) Guest List

The guest list is vital. It will decide how successful the party will be. You want to aim for a 60/40 mix of women to men. Any more women and the party will be too catty. Any more men and it will look like a sword fight.

Also be mindful of different social groups. A party is less fun when everyone knows each other. You want some guests to be strangers to each other at a party (this stimulates a fun chemistry), but you don’t want your hippy musician friends socializing with your boss from work. Be cognizant and recognize the social group of all your guests and try to invite like minded people.

Also be mindful that certain people won’t attend, so feel free to invite a few more people then you actually want attending. It’s always better to have a party that is too packed, then a party that is too empty.

4.) Invitations

Always start by developing a buzz via word of mouth. You want people to know that you are throwing a party soon. Use your hot friend to help accomplish this.

This can help develop an air of tension and anticipation for your party- especially if you have a reputation for throwing great parties (which you will after following our advice).

Once everything is set, and you have the date, time, and place decided, you can begin to invite people. You want to aim for at least 10 days before the party starts but never more then 3 weeks. This gives people enough time to prepare, girls enough time to go shopping for outfits, but it’s not so far ahead that people forget.

5.) Drinks

Probably the most vital thing at a party. Sure you can have fun without alcohol. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?

As a cardinal rule: The drunker the people at your party get, the more fun they will have.

The key is to have plenty of alcohol. Have it chilled and ready to drink before the party starts. Make all your mixed drinks and punches beforehand so you can play a good host rather than bartender.

Read our article on building an effective home bar so you’re always ready for an impromptu get together.

But for the simple essentials just take this grocery list:

1.) A Keg: The most basic of party essentials. It will service a large amount of people for very cheap.

As a general guideline you don’t want to buy more expensive beer kegs. More expensive brands achieve a higher level of flavor by adding more hops- which although make the beer more flavorful, are also very filling (remember the cardinal rule).

For kegs, you actually want to spring for a cheaper beer- Bud Light or Miller Lite. These brands use rice as a substitution to more hops to help make the beer less filling and easier to drink. In fact “Light” beers were originally invented not for the health conscious but rather the heavy drinker.

Personally, we recommend Miller Lite for your Keg purchases. It may have the stigma as being a “girly” beer, however it has less carbonation and it is easier to drink than Bud Light which girls will appreciate. And guys will drink anything anyway.

2.) A Punch: If there is one thing you need for a party, it’s a bowl of punch.

Most girls don’t like beer- at least they don’t like it enough to drink it heavily. Which is why you should always have an alternative for your guests. We recommend this recipe from DrinksRecipe for Jungle Juice.

Jungle Juice Recipe

1 L Everclear® alcohol
5.25 L (3 1.75L bottles) vodka
1 bottle peach schnapps
1 pint Bacardi® 151 rum
1 bottle 99 Apples® apple schnapps
10 L Sprite® soda
1 L Sunny Delight® orange juice
1 L triple sec
1.75 L bottle gin
1 bottle DeKuyper® Sour Apple Pucker schnapps
4 bottles Boone’s Farm® Strawberry Hill wine
8 L Hawaiian Punch®
2 containers orange juice concentrate
fruit (as much as desired)

Mix all the ingredients in a Coach’s Cooler or similar apparatus. Add the fruit and let it soak overnight. Use dry ice in a ziplock bag to help keep it cold and prevent the dry ice from melting into the recipe. Add regular ice before you serve, and add water to taste, but honestly, you can barely taste the alcohol as it is, making this a very dangerous party starter.

One cup has about 15% alcohol or the equivalent of 3 beers. After 2 or 3 cups, you can imagine how fun your party will be. The concoction is expensive to make- approximately $200 per batch depending on your location so feel free to remove some of the ingredients as you see fit- if the punch tastes like juice to begin with, removing any of the alcohol wont’t hurt.

Feel free to put some punch in a serving bowl and ladle added with fruit so your guests can serve themselves. The fruit will have a lot of alcohol naturally soaked into it, so biting into it will just provide your juice with an added punch (no pun intended).

3.) The Basics: Any party can have a keg and a bowl of punch. The best parties have a slew of alcohol to choose from displayed broadly as if saying- money is no object.

1.) A great sipping whisky (Macallan’s 18, Highland Park 21, Blue Label)

2.) A great mixing whiskey (Dewer’s 12, Crown Royal, Maker’s Mark, Black Label)

3.) A premium bottle of vodka (Belvedere or Grey Goose, and Ketel One)

4.) A great Reposado or Blanco Tequila (4 Copas, Gran Patron Silver, 1921- great for shots to help get the party started)

5.) A great selection of beers (Lagers, Dunkels, anything for the discerning beer drinker)

6.) Champagne (It’s a celebration)

7.) Amaretto (For making amaretto sours- only for girls that don’t like the taste of alcohol)

8.) Respectable selection of wines (Red, Whites, Chardonnay, Sovereign Blanc, Zinfandel, etc)

9.) Extra’s: Ice! (Get As many bags as you think you need, then get 5 more), Quality glasses, Large Heavy Duty Shaker (don’t put anything carbonated in it- rookie mistake), Towels

10.) Mixers: Soda’s, Sour mix, Juices, etc.

11.) Garnishes: Lemon and Lime Wedges, Olives, Toothpicks, and Precut lemon and lime twists (Nothing makes a drink fancier than a twist- for girls only)

12.) Something impressive to put it all in (Go dark wood, with darker leather)

4.) The unsung heroes: Cups and Ice

I have seen many great parties go downhill because people ran out of the simplest things. No one wants to wait while someone goes on a quick run to grab more cups or ice.

Even worse is running out of alcohol. It’s as if the music stops the second the last beer is cracked open. Trust us- it’s not pretty.

Also a true gentleman doesn’t throw a BYOB party. At least if you’re over 27.

5.) Food: No

Unless it’s a dinner party we would shy away from foods. People come to parties to have a good time, not get fed.

Food sobers you up, makes your breath smell, and is generally unattractive. There’s nothing sexy about typical party foods- chips, salsa, pizza etc.

If you insist, keep the food items clean- fruits, hors’dourves, steaks. Shy away from spaghetti, fish, or anything greasy.

And leave out a plate of dinner mints to help bring the party back to it’s original glory.

6.) Sense of Arrival: The most important decorations of your party

When people pull into your party and see the venue in the distance, whether it’s your house or a banquet hall you want them to get excited. You want to decorate the outside of the venue with a sense of importance.

This subtle distinction will make the difference between “Showing up” and “You’ve arrived.”

You want to create a “Sense of Arrival.”

You can do this in many ways.

A.) Balloon Arch: A balloon arch is great for indoor events. It is very labor intensive but if you have a couple girls helping you then you have a very classy and cheap way to build an entrance.

B.) Tiki Torches: This is our favorite way to create the impression of a truly great party. A few strategically placed Tiki Torches creating a pathway leading towards the entrance will transform a “get-together” to a “Soiree.”

C.) Ice Sculpture: If you have the money, there is really no better way to wow your guests. Places strategically in the lobby or hallway of your party, a well made Ice Sculpture will shock your guests, make a perfect backdrop for pictures, and truly leave a lasting memory for all your guests.

7.) Decorations

Cut a check. Give it to the girls. Let them go crazy. Trust us.

8.) Music

If alcohol is the lighter, then music is the gasoline. Hiring a DJ should definitely be part of your budget. Don’t take recommendations, make sure you have personally seen the DJ spin.

You want a DJ that can easily transition from one song to the next, but more importantly a DJ that can effectively read a crowd and know exactly what song to play next. Anyone can play a pre-recorded podcast from a famous DJ, but it takes real skill to play the perfect song for that particular crowd.

A good DJ will start out with mild lounge music as people are mingling and developing their buzz. He won’t waste good songs when no one is dancing.

He will know exactly when to start playing the hits to coax the crowd onto the dance floor. And he will know exactly what songs to play to keep them glued there.

Feel free to give the DJ a few songs that you would like to be played throughout the night, but if he’s a professional- mostly just let him do his job.

If a DJ isn’t in your budget, make sure to make a playlist of songs designed well in advance of the party.

Ideally you will make two playlists: one of mellow techno, jazz, and Sinatra as people are entering the party.

Then a second full of the greatest dance hits once the party gets popping.

Having a preset playlist will ensure that you don’t have a crowd of “experts” crowding around the Ipod trying to decide what to play next.

9.) Dancing

If the drinks are cold, the crowd is right, and the music is good, dancing is inevitable.

There are a few things you can do to help grease the system. Make sure you have a dance floor that is in front of the DJ.

There’s something about a solid piece of concrete, wood, or tile in front of a DJ system that makes people want to dance. People just don’t like dancing on grass or uneven surfaces, for obvious reasons.

Make sure the area is well air-conditioned or cool. If the party is too hot, you invited too many people for your venue which is bad planning on your part.

Don’t throw an outdoor party if you live in a humid location. People will avoid dancing because they don’t want to sweat, which is bad planning on your part.

The most important thing you can do to ensure people start dancing is keep the lights low. Your whole party should have a level of ambiance similar to a candlelit dinner (without the candles, those are dangerous and will start a fire).

Everyone looks better in a dim light, and are more inclined to dance if they feel they can hide in the shadows and the crowd. So turn off a few lights, install a dimmer, or shade a few lightbulbs, and let the organic flow of your party develop.

If people are still shying away from the dance floor you can always tell the DJ that if anyone requests to play a song, he makes it mandatory that they dance to it. No one wants to be the first person on the dance floor. You can wait for someone to get drunk (brave) enough to try, or you can force it yourself.

10.) Being a Good Host

Take care of all the other rules well before the party starts because you will need to devote your time and energy to rule number ten.

This is the most important rule of throwing a great party.

Greet every guest at the door, whether they are a stranger or close friend. Welcome them to your party. Grab a drink for them and tell them to help themselves for another round. Then cordially pass them off to someone they know so they can feel comfortable.

Never stay with one group for too long. Be sure to introduce guests to each other. You must be a director of fun at your party and ensure that everyone is enjoying their time.

If you feel the party needs a spark you can always play one of my favorite drinking games- Flip Cup

Flip cup requires a long table, a pitcher of beer or punch and several plastic cups.

Teams of three or more will line up on opposite sides of the table with cups, half full of drink.

Then during every round you start at one end of the table, chugging your cup and then placing the cup on the edge of the table and “flipping” it until the cup lands top side down. The next person doesn’t begin chugging until the person before them has finished successfully ”flipping” his cup.

First team to finish flipping all of the cups wins.

Before every round make sure that both teams start by clapping and making noise, and then the first two opponents tap cups and then chug. This creates a lot of commosion and makes the party look a lot more fun and lively than it actually is.

This works especially well for parties that are just beginning. It is a lot better to see a small group of people cheering and playing this game, then sitting around waiting for the party to start.

Execution

If you keep up with these rules, you should immediately develop a reputation for throwing magnificent parties. Don’t skimp on any of the details. It only takes one great party to be crowned the “Diddy” of your friends, but it only takes one bad party to completely shatter that repuation.

Hope you have a great time throwing your next party.

Good Luck and Happy Hunting.

-The Haute Spot

Also, make sure to keep an eye on your guests and don’t let anyone drive home intoxicated.

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