The Haute Spot

There is nothing more endearing, charming, and impressive than remembering one’s name. It is a proven fact that no word elicits such a positive response, such a feeling of euphoria and acceptance, than hearing one’s own name. Despite this powerful psychological tool, almost everyone is terrible at remembering names. How many times have you been introduced to someone, only to forget their name moments later?

It’s not your fault, it’s human nature. We remember faces instinctively. It times back to when we were cavemen and remembering an enemies face was often the difference between life or death.

But names, however, are a relatively new phenomena, one not necessarily tied to survival. It is however, a skill that can be the difference between nailing a job interview or being unemployed, getting her number or getting her back, the modern man’s life or death.

Well as an evolving gentlemen, and reader of THS, we are about to make this faux-pas, a thing of the past- for you and your social life.

In social settings, we don’t like introductions from the start of conversation. If possible, post-pone it. Whether you are at a networking event, a soirée, or other social situation involving several people, introductions before conversations tend to be forgettable by nature as half the people are you talk to will be boring by nature.

Be nice to everyone, but you’re struggling to remember names, we’re going to filter some people out to make it easier for you. Let’s only focus on the people you truly want to befriend.

So what do you do?

First you must become a genuinely interested listener. You must actively listen in the conversation, rather than just waiting for your turn to talk. That way when you finally ask for their name it doesn’t just go in one ear and out the other. This is a skill that takes years to practice, but probably one of the most important skills you will ever learn in your life.

“You will gain more friends in two months by becoming interested in others, than two years trying to get others interested in you.”

Ok awesome, you have their name. Don’t forget it now! What do you do?

1.) 90% of the time it’s going to be a common name. In fact, you probably already know someone by the same name. We’ll use “Christie” as an example.

I want you to picture your new friend Christie doing something crazy with the Christie you already know. Sky-diving, robbing a bank together, making out, it doesn’t matter what it is, all that matters is that you associate your new friend with a familiar face. The name will come to you almost instantly whenever you need it.

Ok Christie. I've got the guard. Grab the money

2.) If the name is uncommon, ask for a spelling and then make up your own visual association. You are going to need to get creative with this one. For example: my name is Ayman, very weird, very uncommon, very exotic. I introduce people by saying:

“My name is Ayman, like Cayman Islands without the C.”

I think every single person I’ve used that line with has remembered my name. I don’t know if they associate me with a tropical paradise, but I’ve engaged their memory and made sure my name wasn’t another word falling on deaf ears.

Unfortunately, not everyone is as accommodating so you will need to make up your own visualizations. Get creative. What’s important is that you take a conscience effort to try and remember the name. If you do that, you’re already 80% ahead of the game.

Never again will you shy away from a business connection because you’re too embarrassed to ask for his name again, never again will you fumble your words in chance bumpings with acquaintances. This is your court and you will command it.

Good luck and happy hunting.

Hail Mary: The conversation went great, you’ve created a great business contact and plan to meet up for lunch, or finally asked for a girl’s number, you can’t screw it up now by asking for their name again. Here’s what you do:

As you’re entering their info in your phone, use this line:

“How do you spell your name?”

or if you’re certain their name is pretty common you can say

“Is your name spelled the normal way?”

Either way they will spell their name out for you so you can punch it into your phone.

Popularity: 12% [?]

No

Just because you’re wearing jeans and blazer does not mean you look good. If it looks like you borrowed your dad’s jacket, and are still wearing the same jeans you wore in high school then it’s time you change the way you shop. If you haven’t already followed our advice make sure everything you wear is slimmer and form-flattering.

If nothing is form flattering for you– then you’re probably fat-lose weight.

When you wear a button-down and blazer you need to get a shirt that fits well. Only a sliver of shirt cuff should show near your wrists. This means the shirt must fit you slim as well. No more bunching at the waist. That gives you the appearance of love handles even if you have a 6-pack.

Lose the baggy shirts Soulja Boi

Also square-toe shoes are never in fashion. They are the PT Cruisers of the fashion world. Never cool, but their owners are oblivious.

Next, the blazer. Make sure blazers hug your shoulders, and get a tailor to take it in at the waist and arms.

Jeans that are meant to go out should be dark. Hell, all your jeans should be dark. Opt for a dark navy with no crazy designs. We like Rock and Republic for their simple elegance and the lack of a douche bag stigma associated with True Religion. Make sure they fit you like your khakis do. Snug but not 80’s metal tight. If I can count the coins in your pocket- use them to call a tailor.

Spring for a nice pair- even if they’re $200 bucks. If you wear them 50 times over the next four years, they’ll be cheaper than that $60 dollar shirt sitting in your closet for that past five. Remember fashion rule number seven.

You follow this simple advice, you’ll walk on water next time you go out.

Unshakably Confident

Save the jumping for Kobe though.

Blazer, $2,025, and jeans, $450, by Dolce & Gabbana. Shirt, $168, by Steven Alan. Shoes, $820, by Church’s.

Popularity: 35% [?]

Get any Sommelier liquored up enough, and they might admit to you a time honored secret- wine pairing is a myth. A myth that has made a lot of people very rich. So of course, no-one would ever admit that. Well we just did- oops. But in case you are still interested in acting like a wine connoisseur by all means.

Corksavvy.com came out with a cheat sheet for wine pairings, which is great since you can print it out wallet-sized or just put it down in your phone or organizer. Now, anyone can fake wine expertise. Personally, we’ll just stick to making bold, confident generalizations, and have everyone at the table agree with our suggestions.

Popularity: 21% [?]

Gilt Groupe is no stranger to discounting luxury brands. They sell Gucci, Burberry, Polo, Louis Vuitton, and every other luxury brand at drastically reduced prices. The only problem is that Membership is very limited, and you must be invited by a current member. You’re lucky we love you guys because The Haute Spot has secured an exclusive arrangement for all our readers to sign up,

Sign up here

Registration is free, they don’t spam your inbox with emails, and the deals inside feel like you’re robbing someone. The site even feels like a black market- dark, spooky, and filled with rock bottom prices, exclusive membership just adds to the allure. Check it out- you won’t regret it.

A. Testoni Italian Bench Made Cognac Oxford -Regular Price $1,830 Sale Price $330

They even have stuff for the home, women, and children.

Sign up here

Popularity: 54% [?]

Sure. If you want to go home with a peck on the cheek.

First Date Fiasco

Chances are you have probably been doing the dinner and a movie date for a while.

Or the dinner date.

Or the movie date.

These places are terrible for building attraction, they don’t highlight your personality, and they don’t foster affection. All key for securing a second date.

Here’s why they don’t work to your advantage.

If you are on a three-hour date, and the movie is 2 and a half-hours long, that is not a good way to get to know each other.

I understand the appeal of the movie- it eliminates awkward pauses in conversations.

I hate to break it to you, but if you’re on a first date, and you’re already having awkward pauses, chances are it wasn’t meant for the two of you to be together.

If you’re that worried about holding a conversation, at least take her to a comedy club so you’re not responsible for making her laugh (which you should anyway-constantly), and it gives you something to talk about after.

So do a little research, investigate some cafe’s in your area. Go to some dive bars. Ideally ones with bench seating so you can sit next to each other. Find a cool spot that you can take her to grab a drink, maybe some dessert and just talk and flirt.

You’ll end up spending less money if you don’t share chemistry, and you have more oppurtunities to play footsies if everything works out.

Regardless of the location, the goal of the date should be to get the kiss. And you can’t kiss without touching, and its very difficult to touch when you’re sitting across from her on a table eating who knows what.

You’ll probably be able to have more first dates now with less time, effort, and money, and eliminate a month of dating and hundreds of dollars only to realize it wasn’t meant to be.

Your wallet and your ego will thank you for it.

Good Luck and Happy Hunting.

-The Haute Spot

Popularity: 32% [?]